Cases Loaded.

DETECTIVE COMICS #226: The Case of the Magic Baseball

We left our hero having just been made a detective and being told that the Lieutenant has just the case for him! We won’t find out what the case is, because this issue starts with talking about J’onn’s powers and telling us how he’s already used to them defeat crooks in a few cases. Cases that really didn’t seem that interesting. Whatever that first case was shall remain a mystery. Maybe someday, I’ll write it! THE MISSING CASE OF JOHN JONES! There will be fire and meteorites and mobsters and everything that makes a Martian Manhunter case great. 

Thankfully as J’onn reports to the precinct this fine morning, there’s another case waiting for him. It doesn’t seem all that interesting, but A MARTIAN is on the case, so you can bet it will at least be weird at some point. 

Also for no apparent reason, we are suddenly spelling his last name with only one “z” now. Hoo boy. Guys, let’s not start retconning the main character’s name already, we’re only 2 stories in. Maybe someone at DC told them the letterers get paid by the letter and you guys are way over budget. You might want to consider changing it to J’on too. We’re all tightening our belts around here, all right.

The lieutenant (does he have name? I can’t remember) tells J’onn that a big time baseball player named…*sigh* BIG BOB MICHAELS is possibly being blackmailed by the mafia because he used to be in prison. J’onn checks out Michaels’ apartment and sure enough, the mob has called him and are telling him that he better lose the upcoming game or they’ll tell everyone that he was in jail?

A sports star that was in jail? GASP. 

Michaels’ is freaking out over what to do. He doesn’t want his new career to be ruined, but he doesn’t want to fix the game either. J’onn’s not sure what he intends to do and needs to figure it out so he knows how to help, so it’s time to use a power that we will likely never see again, and have never seen or heard of before…

His ability to peer into the future.

He sees that the Michaels’ team, the uh…oh god, the FLAMINGOS would defeat the, oh lord for real? They would defeat the WONDERS 1-0 if it weren’t for these blasted crooks. So, I guess he can see into a hypothetical future. Maybe he could also look into a world with less pathetic team names while he’s at it? 

At the game the next day, J’onn finds a comfy seat with a good view of home plate near the mobsters trying to hose our ex-con baseballer. J’onn uses his telekineses to make sure that every player strikes out.

The mobsters are going freakin’ bonkers at this and are ready to get their blackmail on, but still hoping that maaaaaybe the Flamingos will lose if the game goes to extra innings. It’s still tied 0-0 after all. 

Then Micheals’ gets up to bat. He hits a line drive towards the third baseman. Should be an easy catch, but oh what’s this! J’onn uses his dang telekineses again, and sends the ball not just past the third baseman, BUT INTO THE STANDS. A HOME RUN!

WHAT A WIND TODAY, declares the baseman.

The Flamingos win the goddamn game, and incredibly upset mobsters make their way to do their thing. J’onn turns invisible and trips them all down the stairs, in a most hilarious crime-busting maneuver.

Stadium security sees them all in the ball park with guns and immediately rush over to arrest them, but our wonderful Detective Jones introduces himself and says he’ll be taking over. The three men are charged with blackmail, and the Lieutenant wants to know how J’onn did it!

Just lucky! Ha ha ha ha!

No seriously though, Detective, there’s like paperwork and stuff.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *