CARPe Diem

DETECTIVE COMICS #236: The Great Earth-Mars Mystery

This dang crook is giving John one hell of a time. He steals shit, naturally, and then heads to the waterfront. He jumps in and seemingly disappears. Even John can’t keep up with him! Even with his superspeed! And his, his…mist-dispersing vision. His magic eyes that do whatever they want!

After a tough night of trying to catch him, John returns to his home and tries to get a view beam through to Mars again.

I have no idea when he suddenly got this machine, how long he’s had it, what it does, where it came from, anything. It is just suddenly there, and also suddenly working! On a screen in front of him are his parents, who were apparently expecting his uh, view beam. They ask J’onn where he is and he explains how he became stranded on earth. 

When are you coming home though? You never visit and you never call. You know how we worry about you. Don’t you care about us? 

J’onn immediately regrets calling his parents and remembers why he left that damn planet in the first place. Wait no he didn’t leave on purpose. He’s just starting to wish he had. Stop bugging me mom! I live my own life now! I’m an awesome detective and stuff!

Well we could use a detective on Mars too, you know.

Moooooooooooooooooooommmmmm.

Wait no, they actually could use a detective on Mars.

See, some raiders are using the exact same escape trick the crook on earth is. They’re plundering museums and leaping into the canals which are apparently the home of some fish that are covered with other smaller fish, and of course, the giant Martian cruise ship. 

Suddenly everyone is talking about meters like it’s a measurement of time and I am momentarily confused. 10024 meters ago? What? J’onn says goodbye to his parents and spends a while pondering the two cases, when he has an epiphany and rushes to the waterfront where the Chief is on stakout.

He stares off at the nearby buildings when suddenly he sees the crook and takes off after him. 

He dives off the roof of the building he’s on and sees the crook getting into a small underwater…boat thing. He chases him and crashes the boat, catching the criminal. He explains to the chief that crook was getting in this underwater boat and attaching it to the bottom of these other ships as they left the harbor. 

He figured this out from those weird fish on Mars.

Apparently the crooks on Mars are doing this too, but you never actually see J’onn say that or call his parents to let them know. 

He’s too busy with his hip new earth life. 

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